Light Bulb, India, 2016

How many Congress guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– One honest official, 6 corrupt officials at different levels and a poor guy who would eventually change the light bulb. Total budget: 1500 Crore.

How many BJP guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Precisely 3. One worker, one minister and a guy who would take the picture of the worker with minister and publish it on every social media with captions that would make you shove a middle finger up your patriotic soul for not liking the pic. They’ll use the same bulb changing technique that they have been opposing for last few years.

How many JKNC/JKPDP guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– An Army.
20 people injured in the process, one soldier martyred. That is official data.

How many AAP guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Well, let’s see. A senior leader who would first suspend the officials who were supposed to change the light bulb. An AAP volunteer then would immediately replace it. LG would point out that he wasn’t asked for the directive and so he would overrule the suspension. AK is now pointing finger at Modi.

How many Shiv Sena guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Jai Maharashtra/Jai Shivaji first of all. 2 workers have been called upon to change the bulb. Few insiders know when and where the bulb will be changed. Suddenly, the land surrounding the bulb has been acquired by some company.

How many AIADMK guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Depends on Amma. If she wants to, the change will come from within.

How many RJD guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Dude, there wasn’t even a bulb there at the first place.

How many Muslim League guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– To actually change a bulb? Well, that’s not what they do. I am not sure if their holy book even says anything about the bulb.

How many Trinamool Congress guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Although we don’t expect the change, a budget will be allotted. During the “changing” event the new bulb would break and kill 2 people and injure 10 others. Somehow, the bulb makers will escape.

How many SP guys does it take to change a light bulb?

– Depends on the caste demographics of the place surrounding the bulb. If they do change it, it will look so fuckin A, people would come to see it in an event organised by party workers where Salman Khan would dance.

Ah yea, that’s all.

In another news, Sky is still blue.

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