Falling asleep, he dreams. In his dream, he wakes up from his dream. Resting feet on ground, he starts to walk towards the hall. Left Hand finds a bottle of water and he gulps some down. His lips touch something, his mouth filled, eyes wide open. Sudden sensation of a little lizard inside his mouth sends a chill. He pukes the water out.
No, it was just a piece of coriander. He sighs.
This dream wakes him up abruptly and he struggles to go back to sleep again. It was 5:00 am.
At 12:30 pm he wakes up again, notices message notifications. It had the name of the girl he’s been going out for a while. He liked her he thought. Replying came natural. She informs him she has been seeing someone else. Staring screen for good three seconds, he goes back to sleeping again pushing pillow on his head. Always a procrastinator, his father would denote.
After an hour he decides to take shower. His mother would be surprised to know that he showered earlier than he does. Water feels nice. He books a ticket of some movie. Well, he’d been waiting for quite a while for this anyway. So why not today?
Movie seems interesting and the background score really gets to him. This is what he wanted from his two hours. The movie ends; he thinks about the message and does nothing. Observing a fruit seller for five minutes outside the theatre, he imagines the sour taste of plums. Won over by his tongue reaction he buys some, wondering if he should buy alcohol too. Not today perhaps. It’s better if he doesn’t get drunk.
He thinks of sending his friend a message but ends up calling him. It was already 6 pm and his friend was home. Getting in his home and couch, they plug in consoles and start playing some game no question asked, all the while deriding the movies and the pop music that’s been spurting on lately.
“Your mobile is flashing for quite some time now. Are you going to read your messages?”
It was already night and after some Chinese takeaway, he sets off for the road. Books a cab and abandons it before reaching his destination to walk the last mile. The clock wouldn’t rush to be done with the day already. If he could just get through few hours more maybe he’ll be able to think like he is supposed to. He felt he was afraid of something but he wasn’t sure of what. Taking his phone out, he looks at the screen. The girl had called. Anxiously, to avoid the situation, he calls his other friend who lived in another city. She lived in recluse, so he would have better topics to concentrate on. Meanwhile he receives calls and ignores them all listening to his friend. She is sweet, she is in pain, he wonders. Although he called her for an escape, he really listened to her. She meant something and her voice made him feel much better. She said, his voice made her feel better.
They say goodnight, he reaches his den and crashes on his bed. It might rain in a while. A lizard on the wall crawls hard to grab an insect and he watches as the lizard swallows. It seems to him like he is part of a setting, a strange movie and he feels dumb that he doesn’t get the plot. Every time he thinks he has figured it out, he slips. Like running downstairs and failing to notice the spilled grease. Slipping, he falls on his back and rolls down. He manages to stand up again but it feels like he has to endure this pain for a long time now. Beneath the pain lurks some repressed feeling. Why does he keep running when he knows he slips?
Maybe she has been meaning to say she doesn’t want things this way for a long time now.
Maybe she’s just joking and is trying to clear the misunderstanding calling him.
Maybe it is what it is.
It doesn’t make a difference for some reason. Any further interaction resulting from any presumed scenario would drain his mind.
For him, things ended some time ago. He seemed to be waiting for it. If anything, he’s afraid of his now conspicuous indifference.
He remains transfixed on the lizard and then the rain, until he dreams again.